In order to understand the really diverse men in my life, I try to size them up employing their individual relationships with their automobiles.
My own father has ever been really outdoorsy, which suited him perfectly. He worked as a life scientist, but is retired nowadays. Pick up a fossil here; chipping a rock there, that’s my dad. He never managed to acquire any fondness for machinery. He was brought up by his parents to act like a gentleman, but motors and power trains appeared to dredge up the worst in him. I have early memories of him cussing the Industrial Age as he was bent over an engine.
My father would always change the tires on our Volkswagen van when they required it, but you would never see him drool over aftermarket center caps or custom chrome grille work on a vehicle. You might see him checking the H2O level in the radiator or putting some Rustoleum on spots that had oxidized on the van, but you would never see him using a toothbrush to scrub headlamps or using Q-tips to clean the knobs on the dashboard. These things just didn’t take place in our garage.
On the other hand, my father-in-law is a complete car man through & through. I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew every make, model, and year of every vehicle that ever travelled the Pennsylvania turnpike. He is happy to spend a Saturday afternoon checking out cars at an Antique Car Club Rally or scrubbing the whitewalls on his car.
He grew up in rural northern Pennsylvania and graduated rapidly from a pacifier to a pitchfork and wrench. Where he grew up, farm boys were required to learn all they could about animal farming and automobile mechanics. He has preserved his passion for gadgets, wheels, and engines, but has no interest in animals. He left the farm, never looking back, and attended college.
My husband is a teacher, just like his father and my father, but that is where their similarities finish. He doesn’t meticulously clean his cars, collect rocks, or go camping. He likes to spend Saturdays enjoy java at a local Starbuck, marking papers, and catching up with friends on Facebook.
He keeps his car full of fuel, but would in all probability use his Enkei center caps as door stops in his office rather than pimp his ride with them. No disrespect if you’re a center cap mind you. He makes the time to vacuum his car every other season and doesn’t mind riding around with the words “wash me” scribbled someplace in the dirt on his car.
The young man that my daughter dates is a jazzed up version of my father-in-law. When I have the chance, I am going to send them to an auto parts store together so they can quickly bond. My daughter gave her boyfriend a performance exhaust kit for his birthday and he is excited that the exhaust growls deeply. He says it lets everyone know he’s arrived. My daughter grins saying, “I can hear him coming from more than a mile away.” It’s obvious that she’s in the throes of young love!
Yes, men and their relationships with cars are complicated. Sometimes these relationships reflect an image of a man’s masculinity, while others treat cars as a foe – a required nuisance to conquer or at least endure.
Some name their cars, and others blaspheme them. Some treat their vehicles with TLC, while others cop bragging rights because their car or truck is beaten up or has the most mileage. Car tales are exchanged over beers, like war accounts used to be told around a campfire.
This is the reason the auto industry can sell billions of dollars worth of window tint, aftermarket center caps, dash accoutrements, chrome, seat covers, wheels, car alarms, backup sensors, hoods, exhausts, and decals.
Whether the ride in the driveway is the reason for cooing or cussing, there has to be some form of mechanistic mojo occurring – something like, “if you build it, he will come.”
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